I'd always believed that my boundaries were solid as a student social worker.
I had good habits, such as the daily lunchtime walks (lesson from my placement that you can read about here) and I tried as much as possible to take care of myself. It helped that I was always treated like a student, so I didn't have much to push back on.
As a newly qualified social worker those boundaries were tested. I started in social work single with no children. I wasn't committed to anyone or anything. I had lots of things in my life that I cared about but the nature of my work didn't hugely impact my personal life. I could sleep 8 hours a night and get up early to make sure I had a quiet 30 minutes in the office before the day began. I could set myself up for the day to make sure I had the best chance of finishing on time. It's not to say I didn't end up working over my hours; it happened just like it happens to every new social worker.
But I was fortunate to have the freedom to choose when to do this. I didn't need to rush home every evening so if it meant staying an hour to finish case notes, to have the rest of my evenings uninterrupted, I could do it. Not ideal but necessary at times. I realise how different this is for each new social worker.
Fast forward to having my first child and things changed dramatically. I returned to work in a new local authority on a part time contract. My partner worked away during the week and the freedom of choosing when I worked my overtime was gone (not advocating for unpaid overtime but it's the reality isn't it?)
In my first year as a social worker I had worked with a team of mothers. They would often share their advice and some regrets with me, and I was very determined that when I had children, I wouldn't miss bedtime because of work. When I went back to social work as a mum, that was my non-negotiable.
Of course there were times when this didn't happen. There were nights when I knew my little boy was safe and cared for by grandparents, when the child I was with didn't have anyone. But having my boundaries and being clear on what was non-negotiable gave me a framework to stick to. It was my constant, and to miss bedtime was the exception, rather than the norm.
p.s. no mum shaming around here. For example, if going to the gym made a significant impact to my ability to manage my day, then I would choose this over bedtime. It's completely personal. I'm also aware that having a partner and family support isn't everyone's experience.
For some people non-negotiable's are about breaks during the day, or being able to exercise or see friends. If you're reading this and just starting out then the one thing I'd advise is to think about what this means to you. Non-negotiable's are completely personal. It has to be about what matters to you.
As a senior practitioner in this role I took on my first student, and I loved it. I did this alongside a foundation course; introduction to systemic family therapy. Both experiences shaped me and solidified my interest in training. I loved taking the complex ideas I was learning and bringing them to supervision with the student I was supporting. I believe that the only way we learn is through teaching, it brings me back to a quote from my signs of safety training; if you can't explain it to a 6 year old you don't understand it.
I have always been interested in creating resources and working with a student (hi P!) was a way of translating what was in my head, to practice. I learnt about delivering supervision, adapting my approach and modelling everything that I was teaching.
I was in my role as a senior practitioner in 2020, when social work as we know it changed and no one could escape the impact of covid 19 pandemic, and the horrendous response of the government which made everything ten times worse. Working from home had previously been a meek and mild request that I knew would be refused and suddenly it was the norm. I liked the convenience but I hated the lack of contact with families. There were times when experiences felt shared and others where there was so much distance.
I know for so many students and newly qualified social workers, this time period was so difficult. No face to face experience, no shadowing, seeing families in crisis mode only and trying to distance learn in a job that requires proximity, care and in person interaction. Just over 12 months from the first 'lockdown' I started an Instagram account.
I had started to bring all my learning together, and wanted to write a book or practice guide. I knew that I needed to be in contact with social workers to test this idea and one of my friends suggested Instagram. I chose the name Social Work Sorted and started to post. I knew it would lead to something but I didn't quite know what. In the same year I moved from my social work role to a safeguarding and quality assurance team, as a Child Protection Conference Chair.
More about that in the next blog.....
Wondering how I got here:
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